The following is a talk that I gave in church this July (2017). I usually don't write out full talks like this but since I did this time I thought I'd share it here. For more good reading check out some of the linked sources at the bottom as well!
It is no
surprise to many of you that this last year has been a bumpy one for me. Full of moves, and changes, and a new baby,
and depression, and growth. My
relationship with my Heavenly Parents and with the Spirit has been challenged,
and stretched, and I found myself very emotional as I tried to write down in
words the experiences and feelings of despair and deliverance that have been so
prevalent over the last few months.
I’m
usually a pretty off the cuff speaker. I
would usually show up with a few bullet points and a handful of quotes but
given the emotions I feel on this topic I’ve opted to write this talk out in its
entirety.
In Enos he
tells us of his wrestle before God. We
can learn about this experience in the Book of Mormon institute manual. It
reads: “Enos did not wrestle with God. The record
states that Enos wrestled before God in prayer.
Such wrestling is the struggle to find and express one’s real desires under the
inspiration of the Holy Ghost.
Praying in this manner requires that a person eliminate vain, trite, or
insincere repetitions and to pour the deepest desires of his or her heart into
words. Each phrase becomes an expression of yearning and desire to do God’s
will. Such prayers are assisted and guided by the Holy Spirit, “for we know not
what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession
for us with groanings which cannot be uttered” (Romans 8:26).
This last
year for me has been a wrestle before God.
I have struggled to figure out what I want, need and what to ask Him for. I’ve struggled at times to see the blessings
and talents given to me. I’ve struggled
to feel the influence of the Holy Ghost.
I’ve struggled to let go of vanity and of my own limiting judgements.
But through all of these struggles I have been assisted by the Spirit and have
been shown many tender mercies.
How many
of you have felt this wrestle? A desire
to change might be met with the daily demands that keep us stuck in a
routine. A desire to learn might be met
with a physical exhaustion that closes down our minds. Sometimes it may even seem the harder we work
the less we harvest. We work extra hard
to get our family to church for some spiritual nourishment and then spend all
of sacrament meeting in and out with children. We spend extra time on our calling assignments
only to receive an email from someone who is frustrated with us and thinks we
are doing it all completely wrong. Maybe we spend extra time in the scriptures
in search of an answer only to be left with 5 new unanswered questions.
And so we
come tired and broken to the feet of our Heavenly Parents in prayer. And maybe some struggle to be honest with
themselves about what they need to change. And maybe some struggle to be able
to articulate the desires of their heart.
And maybe some are held back by feelings of shame. And maybe some are
struggling to believe that Heavenly Father is even there. And this is when the
Spirit can enter and make an intercession for us with the Father.
He not
only helps Heavenly Father communicate with us, he helps us communicate with
Heavenly Father. The feelings he brings
to us may be feelings of comfort, remembrance or inspiration. These feelings help us to pray more fervently
and directly and they also help us to receive answers. This is called revelation. Although the Spirit will do this for each of
us it is important to recognize that it will be done differently for each
person- not because the Spirit is different but because we are.
It is true
that some instructions will be the same for all but the implementation will
vary. We should all seek the Spirit through
prayer but it will be a different prayer for each person. The place we pray, the time we pray, the
content and duration of our prayers will be different. Some will add meditation. Some will ponder in a quiet room and some
will ponder on their daily run. Some
will commune with God in nature. Some prayers will involve words while others
seem to be unspeakable prayers directly from the feelings of our heart.
We can all
seek the Spirit through scripture study. But again the time of day, duration of
study, subject matter, highlighter color preference, etc. will be different for
each person. Some will read it all at once. Some will read a little throughout
the day. Some will listen to scriptures on cd in their car. Some will add
conference talks. Some will add historical references and biographies. Some will memorize the scriptures while
others will focus more on the overall impressions they receive.
It’s
important that we don’t judge or criticize these differences just because
someone does something differently than you do. We don’t need to compare our effort to other’s
efforts. We should refrain from giving
overly specific advice about exactly how long something should be done for, or
what time of day it must be accomplished.
I love to hear examples and get ideas of what has worked for other
people but I know that not all ideas will work for me or my family. So I take what I need and leave the
rest. And we need to make sure that we
give other people opportunities to do the same when we offer them advice.
One last
caution would be to refrain from always giving people the same answers of just
pray more or read your scriptures more. We
should not assume that trials only come to those who don’t seek the influence
of the Spirit. There are some trials such as physical or mental health or even
spiritual struggles that will need other interventions. Don’t assume that because someone is
depressed they aren’t praying to be happy. There isn’t a level of righteousness
that makes us immune to health challenges- that’s like Tom Cruise scientology
stuff, that’s not us. Don’t tell someone with a wayward child that they should
have read the scriptures with them more or held stricter family home evenings.
My sister recently pointed out that there is no level of righteousness we can
attain as parents that will take away our children’s agency. After all, God
himself watched as a third part of his own children fell away.
We might
sometimes be surprised to find that those with questions and concerns and
trials are already the ones who are attending the temple most, reading their
scriptures most frequently or praying most fervently for answers and relief. It
is often in these times of struggle that we can learn the most from the
influence of the Spirit.
We seek the Spirit and feel his
influence differently depending on our Spiritual gifts. 1 Corinthians chapter
12 states:
1 Now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I would not have you ignorant.
4 Now there are diversities of gifts,
but the same Spirit.
5 And there are differences of
administrations, but the same Lord.
6 And there are diversities of
operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.
7 But the manifestation of the Spirit
is given to every man to profit withal.
8 For to one is given by the Spirit
the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;
9 To another faith by the same
Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;
10 To another the working of miracles;
to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the
interpretation of tongues:
11 But all these worketh that one and
the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.
As we study out what our
spiritual gifts are we will find more meaningful ways of seeking and receiving
from the Spirit. We may even find that
we are already feeling his influence in surprising ways.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave a BYU
devotional entitled “Eight Ways God can Speak to You”. Another title could be- Eight Ways the Spirit
can influence you through Revelation. I
will just quickly name his ideas and give a quick summary of the implementation
of those Revelations. As you listen to the list contemplate examples of how you
may have already felt this influence in your own life.
1) The testimony or witness of the Holy Ghost that Jesus
is the Christ.
2) Prophecy or speaking under the influence of the Holy
Ghost (This can come through the Prophet for the whole church, our leaders for
our local communities, and through us for ourselves and those for whom we are
responsible)
3) Comfort (peace as we make decisions)
4) Uplift (from feelings of depression, foreboding or
inadequacy)
5) Inform (This could be inspiration for a talk, or
lesson, or knowing what to say to others)
6) Restraint (This keeps us from doing something we
shouldn’t. Sometimes we might know why
we shouldn’t do it and in other cases we might not know.)
7) Confirm (Neal A Maxwell said that Revelation is
usually received to an already informed mind. Doctrine and Covenants reminds us
to study things out in our mind and then ask if it be right)
8) Impels (This is different from restraint or confirmation
because in those cases revelation is being sought. This is when the Revelation comes unprovoked
to push us to action. Instances we’ve heard about might be to call someone
immediately or check on a child who is then found to be in imminent danger)
As I thought about examples in my
own life I was able to reflect upon when the Spirit has born testimony of my
Savior as I’ve attended the temple. The
supreme joy that I felt at these times helps me when I begin to doubt or
complain. I can touch back to those
times and hold on a little stronger. Perhaps that is why I love the words in Come Thou Fount of every blessing that
reads:
“O to
grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.
Let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.
Here's
my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above”
This has often been my prayer
when my wandering heart feels all out of patience for the answers to come or
inspiration to flow.
Many of the examples that came to
my mind were of restraint. Probably because I love doing things that I know I
shouldn’t. I have heard that softly whispered word- “Patience” in my mind so
often I cannot count the experiences.
This restraint has saved me many times from speaking unkind words,
giving up on myself, or even walking away from church.
I’ve had experiences of comfort
as I’ve decided what to study, who to marry, and when it was time to have
another child.
I’ve had experiences of being
uplifted when I was dealing with physical and mental health trials.
I’ve had instances where I’ve
been impelled to call to see if someone was okay, or to stay away from a
situation, or to check on my children. A
few of these instances have resulted in miraculous accounts but many more have
resulted in me checking on a peacefully sleeping baby who is, in fact, not in
danger or calling friend and having a lovely conversation but never knowing why
I felt so strongly to call.
I’ve also been informed by the Spirit
when I’ve given talks and taught lessons. I would quickly like to describe in a
little more detail a recent example of when the Spirit informed me where to
look for an answer and what to say to my daughters. After church on Mother’s Day my daughters
were concerned that we didn’t talk about motherhood at church during Sacrament.
One of my daughters asked why we never talked about Heavenly Mother. I first answered with my own reasoning but
became self-conscience that I was maybe being too “Mormon feminist” with my
answer so I tried to temper it by repeating an old explanation someone had
given me as a youth. That answer was that God wanted to keep her reputation
sacred and so he doesn’t want us to talk about her as much. I was promptly informed by the Spirit that I
had misspoken and that this was absolutely not true.
That night after the kids went to bed I asked
Alex if he and I could research a little bit about Heavenly Mother. We were led to an LDS gospel topics page
about her. From there we were led to
several resources that confirmed that there is in fact no doctrine about a
“sacred silence” in regard to our Heavenly Mother. In addition we also found a BYU study that
compiled everything that has ever been said by general authorities about Her. I
realized that the Spirit’s influence had not only informed me how to answer my
daughter’s question, it also answered many unspoken questions I had about my
own divine nature. The next morning I
was able to correct my answer to my children and now enjoy being able to freely
talk and testify about my Heavenly Mother and Her desire for my daughters, and
all of Her daughters, to become like her.
The last element of Spiritual influence
that I want to talk about today is strength in numbers. A lot of us have
probably seen the visual demonstration where the speaker snaps one toothpick in
half easily but when you take a stack of 30 or 40 toothpicks they become
stronger. This is usually done to
illustrate unity but I would like to talk about how that unity can lead to a
stronger influence of the Spirit.
If we turn back to 1 Corinthians 12
and continue reading about spiritual gifts we learn why we are each given
different gifts. It reads:
12
For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one
body, being many, are one body: so also is
Christ.
13
For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body,
whether we be Jews or Gentiles,
whether we be bond
or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.
14 For the body is not one member, but
many.
And a few chapters later in 1 Corinthians
14 it adds:
1 Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye
may prophesy…12 Even so ye, forasmuch as ye are zealous of spiritual gifts, seek that ye may
excel to the edifying of the church.
So what does this mean? We are given spiritual gifts first to help
ourselves seek and receive the Spirit.
But as we progress we are also given the influence of the Spirit in
order to build up the kingdom and to edify the church! When we collaborate as
men and women within a family, ward, stake and community we are able to
increase that influence. We learn in the
temple that as we begin to become of one heart and one prayer that the Spirit
can be more fully present and unrestrained.
In the book of Joel, speaking of
our day it says:
28
And it shall
come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and
your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions:
29
And also upon
the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit.
We need each person to come and
bring with them what they can. As we
welcome people from different genders, ages, walks of life, and geographical
areas we increase the spiritual gifts in our ward and we increase the spiritual
influence that can be felt here. When we
refrain from criticizing, judging, and gossiping we invite the Spirit to be
here. When we praise, compliment, and give all members the opportunities to
serve and preach we invite the Spirit to be here. Linda K. Burton reminds us to ask “What if their
story were my story?” We need everyone’s stories to be shared. Elder Holland
told us we need all voices in the choir. As we become one body we become one
with our Savior. We become like Christ. And
that is the ultimate purpose to seek the Spirit’s influence in our life…to
become like our Savior and return to our Heavenly Parents.
And what is it called when we
don’t judge? And we aren’t puffed up.
And we seeketh the Spirit instead of our own? Charity! Back to 1 Corinthians
chapter 13, it reads:
1 Though
I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity,
I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling
cymbal.
2 And
though I have the gift of prophecy,
and understand all mysteries,
and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove
mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And
though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and
have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
9 For
we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10
But when that which is perfect is come, then that which
is in part shall be done away.
When we seek the influence of the
Spirit the result is charity. Let us
take what we each individually know and what we each individually prophesy and
add to it a collective charity so that we might be perfected in Christ. Let’s
be patient with ourselves and with one another as we each publicly or privately
wrestle before God.
We can feel the influence of the
Spirit as we believe Christ when he says that we are His and will not be lost. We feel the influence of the Spirit when we believe
and preach that we are sons and daughters of Heavenly Parents to all of our
friends and families. We feel the Spirit when we have faith and hope that our
futures are in God’s hands. When we have patience in his timing. When we persevere
even when his influence cannot immediately be felt. When we ask questions, answer
questions, or help those who have lost sight of the path by loving them instead
of condemning them. We can feel the influence of the Spirit when we gain
knowledge and inform our minds. This means learning all we can from every good
source we can. Don’t resist listening to
someone just because they are older or younger than you, or a woman, or a
stranger, or belong to another faith.
Stay close to the Spirit so that you might be uplifted by the Spirit as
it is made manifest in each person around you. As we do these things Christ
will be in our homes, and our ward, and in our community and in our hearts.
I have a testimony that our
Heavenly Father loves His children. That
our Heavenly Mother loves Her children.
That the Spirit is their gift to us. We are told in our confirmation
ordinance “Receive the Holy Ghost”.
Reach out, accept this divine present, receive the Holy Ghost. The
constant companionship of the Holy Ghost gives us the power to become priests and
priestesses and to be the instruments our Heavenly Parents use to distribute
that spiritual influence to the entirety of the world.
Sources and Inspiration:
Here is the lds.org gospel topics essay on Heavenly Mother:
https://www.lds.org/topics/
From there I followed one of the links to the BYU study "A Mother There"
https://byustudies.byu.edu/
I also used some of the scriptures from this BYU devotional talk:
https://speeches.byu.edu/
And a devotional talk from Elder Oaks:
https://www.lds.org/new-era/
