Some Thoughts On Miscarriage

In my previous post I talked about how Neighbor Dorothy had some sad things happen to her in her life. One is that she had a little boy who died at age 4. I think that her radio show and the busy life that it brings is her way of dealing with the sorrow from that tragedy.

As I thought more about that I realized that a big reason that I'm starting this project is because I have had a personal struggle with going through a miscarriage! My first reaction was to lie in bed for a few days and cry. And when I was done with that my next reaction was to take on a billion projects so that I wouldn't be able to think about it anymore! Like paint the bathroom, finish the girls scrapbooks, throw a pampered chef party, volunteer at my daughters school, potty train my 2 year old, and hey...why not start a blog!!

So, I decided since I now have a new blog (thank you crazy hormonal Julia) I will use this forum to talk about what a weird and hard thing miscarriage really is! It's common enough that you don't really get too much special treatment when you go in to the obstetrician but while they might be used to it, I sure wasn't! I had no idea what was going on, I had to wait a week to get an ultrasound to make sure it really was a miscarriage, and not that many people knew I had even been pregnant so I felt pretty isolated!

I guess that the hardest thing was that I am a planner. And as soon as I found out that I was pregnant I immediately figured out when they were due, when we could get new family pictures, how far apart the kids would be, etc etc etc. So while on the outside nothing really changed (We had been a family or four and we were still going to be a family of four) I felt this great sense of loss because I'd already planned out and imagined our family with 3 children!

I can't even imagine what it must be like to have a miscarriage before you start having children. It gave me great insight into what my friends with infertility must be going through. It's hard to want something so bad and not be in control of getting it. When it first started happening to me I just felt like I needed to lay down and not move. That somehow I could stop it from happening, but alas I was not in control.

The craziest thing to me was that until I had a miscarriage I don't think I'd ever talked about miscarriage with anyone. I had no idea what to expect or what the symptoms were. I didn't even know that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage! Once I finally told some of my friends the truth I was floored to find out that almost all of them had gone through at least one miscarriage themselves! So I guess that for all the time we sit around talking about child birth and epidurals and pregnancy, maybe we should give a little time to discussing miscarriage! I know it's a hard subject but I was so grateful for those who shared their stories with me and hope that someday I can pay it forward by helping someone else cope with their loss!

Book Review: Standing in the Rainbow

Well since Standing in the Rainbow is partially responsible for the blog name, I think I'll start off with a book review of the book! Standing in the Rainbow is the second book by Fannie Flagg that takes place in Elmwood Springs, MO. It has many of the same characters that we meet in Welcome to the World Baby Girl and again in Can't Wait to Get to Heaven. I actually read Standing in the Rainbow first and it remains my favorite of the 3. (Although I love all of them!)

Standing in the Rainbow begins in the 1940s and continues through the year 2000. While it focuses on a handful of main characters there are dozens of supporting characters that intertwine their stories with one another and keep the story moving forward! With so many characters doing so many things you would think many of them would have to be one dimensional, but Flagg does an amazing job of fleshing out even the smallest character's personality. You have a sense, that given the time, she would be able to write an entire book about each person!

While the plot contains some pretty fantastic events you still feel like it could really happen to someone simply because the characters are so true to life. She is a master of starting a character out one way and chronicling their evolution into a completely different person! The way that the characters interact is hysterical and makes you wish that you lived in Elmwood Springs.

While my favorite characters are probably Norma Warren (because I'm a bit neurotic like her) and Aunt Elner (because I'm a little crazy like her), the character I would most like to meet is Neighbor Dorothy! I seriously hope that somewhere a woman like this exists and if she does I want to be her best friend! She's described as a pretty woman who is a bit overweight. Always cheery although she's had heartache in her life. One of the things I admire about her character is that instead of demanding help from everyone around her she gives help to those in need. I know that when I'm feeling down I have to get out and do something. I could pretty easily just sit around and feel sorry for myself for a long time but usually if I can put that energy into doing something constructive (instead of feeling sorry for myself) it works out much better for me and all involved. So Dorothy does her radio show, takes care of her children, sews, reads, rents out rooms, and cooks and bakes for the whole town! I just think I 'd have a ton of fun with her and I loved reading about her life! And I want to try her caramel cake!

The book also discusses the start of Gospel music. The Oatman family is an up and coming gospel group that Neighbor Dorothy meets at one of their performances. She winds up letting their daughter stay with her during another performance and eventually takes their daughter in when she is done performing with her family. She is a shy, quiet, petite girl who eventually meets a man in town and marries him. Her husband ends up becoming the governor and that story really takes over the plot from then on. I won't go into the rest of the details too much because it does have some pretty good bends and twists that kept me turning pages way past my bedtime, so I won't spoil it for you!

My favorite type of books are generational fiction books and this one takes on a big span of time! I love when you have plenty of time to get to know the characters and hear their stories out until the end! And while they all have their ups and downs they always get the ending they deserve! For the most part Flagg gives the good guys good endings and the bad guys bad endings and that is the way I like it! It makes for a fun read! And when I'm busy and worried about things a fun read is exactly what I want to pick up!